Yikes! So many changes since October. And I've been a total slouch at keeping tabs on them all.
Despite a couple of potholes in the road of Life, (Did you *see* Nascar lately?) The Santa Mug was released by Dreamspinner Press in December to good reviews, Jessewave set up an interview, (Wave is such a riot!) and Dreamspinner also accepted A Voice in the Darkness as part of their A Brush of Wings anthology. It will be released in March.
Alas, some things haven't changed much. Most notably updating my website. I'd love to say something encouraging like "I'll be updating it regularly." but let's face it. I'd rather be writing. :)
And to that end, keep an eye out for further mention of Requiem, a werewolf story with a twist, as well as a submission for Dreamspinner's June Daily Dose, and a couple of as yet untitled works in progress; one is Contemporary and for a change of pace, the other is a Sci-Fi about cloning. When I get the website updated (ahem) you'll find more details on the Boys page.
So, a bit of a bumpy road getting caught up again, but in looking on, things are also looking up.
Cheers!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Friday, October 23, 2009
I've got a secret, no more...
Wow, gosh. A lot has happened since my last post, and since then I've received email asking when I would be releasing something new (Thanks folks!)
I've also been pretty sparse in the group lists, twitter, and facebook. Not my usual style, I know, but there is a reason I'm going to share only once, then move on. I told myself I wouldn't tell folks unless they were directly affected by my lack, and that worked for quite a quite a while, until even strangers asking for new works noticed. Figured it was time to explain myself before I got a reputation I didn't want! Well, I don't really want this reputation, but it's unavoidable at this point!
Have I beat around the bush enough? Too much, I think. I need an editor for my own blog post! One last thing though... Most folks will find this news rather sad. We'll talk more about that later, but if that bothers you, now's the time to stop reading.
About a year ago, I found a lump. Honestly, I thought it was another hernia. Meh. Only I noticed it didnt act like the last hernia I had. Well... No medical insurance means no way of dealing with it, so ignore it. :)
Trouble is, about four months ago, it got bigger, and I noticed one leg get bigger, same side as the lump. To make a long, messy story short, it took several specialists, two surgical biopsies and two punch biopsies off my foot to get a diagnosis. (By the way you can see a bit of the punch biopsies here.)
According to the oncologist, I have angioimmunblastic T-cell lymphoma. It took me a week to remember how to even spell it! :) This is a cancer which most often originates in the lymph nodes near the lungs, but mine started in the groin and pretty much stayed there for a year before it started spreading. That's part of what took so long to figure it out. (One doctor even said I was wierd. Laugh)
Some of the websites I read say that this particular flavor represents less that one percent of all known Non Hodgkins Lymphomas, which makes me pretty dang special, yeah? Despite the rarity, there is a fairly common chemotherapy treatment they call CHOP. This is an old acronym that used to represent the names of the chemicals, but there have been many improvements since then and the letters hardly apply. In my case, the protocol calls for 6 to 8 treatments, spread out three weeks apart. That means 18 to 24 weeks of chemo. Ugh!
We all know that chemo means getting sick, losing your hair, feeling horrible, blah, blah, blah, and yes, that is true, for many people. Each person is different, so each person is affected differently. In my case, for the first treatment at least, I didnt get any of the normal symptoms. I got the unusual ones. Didnt get sick (yay, cuz I hate barfing) but I did get the mouth sores and the erosion of the esophagus (think of swallowing through a twelve inch long sore throat. Ouch!) and I got the blurry vision. All those are transitory though. The one overriding problem is fatigue. Chemotherapy is after all a poison, designed to kill fast growing cells. Cancer cells are fast growing, as are several systems in the human body, so the trick is to kill the cancer without killing me, too. It is a carefully orchestrated race, administered by a man I trust explicitly.
Those who know me personally know I am very slow to trust, and this guy is phenomenal as a doctor, and as a person. He is the very best of both worlds, and I knew that on my first visit with him. I develop more and more respect for him wth each subsequent visit. Thanks John!
Sorry, I digressed... I just had my second treatment yesterday, and we got some pretty good news, though I swear I will jinx it if I say it out loud. Given that the response rate of T-cell lymphoma is traditionally poor, forgive me for not saying anything just yet, but he and I are both happy. :) I will say that by the sixth treatment, we may find the last two aren't necessary.
So, with all that in mind, we come to what I find the most difficult to deal with.
Other people.
I've known since the second visit to a doctor when he orded the first CT scan that I had cancer. Call it a gut feeling, or the result of hours of Googling. Doesn't matter. the point is I have had ample time to come to grips with my situation and my "most likely" prognosis, as well as alternate scenarios. In short, I am simply not afraid of the outcome. To put it even shorter, and at the risk of being crude, I am not afraid of dying, a year from now or forty years from now.
People who even allow themselves to think of the word cancer automatically think of slow, painful, rapid decline leading to death, as though it were a given. I've learned much about other people by how they react or respond when I tell them the news. I understand their actions, but I cant condone them when they are directed at me, because to put it selfishly, I need all my energy to get me well, not make them feel better. A very dear friend of mine described it thus: "It's like choking on a glass of water. Everyone is demanding you TELL them you are fine, when what you really need to do is cough it out." True enough! And I finally got my family to understand the concept. Friends, most of whom I am actually closer to, took a bit longer. :)
What I'm going to ask for at this point will sound a bit harsh, and I'll apologize in advance, but I am somewhat limited in my ability to respond.
I'd like to thank everyone in advance for the well wishes, and the inquiries, and the sympathies, and say they've already been sent an answered. Rather than field a bunch of queries for how I am doing, I'll usurp my old work blog and post updates there. Probably wont be all that many posts, because frankly, all the drama is done. All that's left is whatever side effect the chemo is dropping on my head on any given day, and seriously, that's GOT to be boring reading!
The only thing that matters to me right now is the fatigue, originally caused by the cancer and and now caused by the chemo. Makes it bloody hard to work up enough steam to keep up with the group messages, and even long emails. (The only way I could write this lengthy post is because the first day after chemo, I feel like myself again. Alas, it doesn't last long.) :)
There is one other thing that really bothers me, and it's the hardest to explain. According to John, cancer doctors largely ignored complaints for a long time because patients couldn't really articulate what they were feeling, and few reported it. Now they understand the situation and given it a name: Chemo brain. Goofy name, but man is it a pain in the butt. Different people are affected differently, of course, and for me, I lose focus, big time. Can't think of the word I want, and the biggest hassle of all is that it's bloody hard to write! It's like being distracted by every random thing in the room. That's why I haven't written much in the last three months. In fact, the Santa Mug was written before the chemo while I was still undiagnosed. Whew! What a task that little story was! It'll be out in December as part of the Dreamspinner Mistletoe Madness and can be purchased separately (royalties!) or as part of the month long package.
So to recap and wrap up, you'll see me occasionally in Twitter or on the groups when I have the energy or when I am not trying to write. If I'm not there, it doesn't mean I don't want to be, trust me. :)
Think good thoughts I can find a way around the chemo brain thing, because all the stories are still there, but they don't have a convenient outlet right now, and I'd love nothing more to get them on paper and into your hot little hands. :)
Cheers all!
Love,
Patric
I've also been pretty sparse in the group lists, twitter, and facebook. Not my usual style, I know, but there is a reason I'm going to share only once, then move on. I told myself I wouldn't tell folks unless they were directly affected by my lack, and that worked for quite a quite a while, until even strangers asking for new works noticed. Figured it was time to explain myself before I got a reputation I didn't want! Well, I don't really want this reputation, but it's unavoidable at this point!
Have I beat around the bush enough? Too much, I think. I need an editor for my own blog post! One last thing though... Most folks will find this news rather sad. We'll talk more about that later, but if that bothers you, now's the time to stop reading.
About a year ago, I found a lump. Honestly, I thought it was another hernia. Meh. Only I noticed it didnt act like the last hernia I had. Well... No medical insurance means no way of dealing with it, so ignore it. :)
Trouble is, about four months ago, it got bigger, and I noticed one leg get bigger, same side as the lump. To make a long, messy story short, it took several specialists, two surgical biopsies and two punch biopsies off my foot to get a diagnosis. (By the way you can see a bit of the punch biopsies here.)
According to the oncologist, I have angioimmunblastic T-cell lymphoma. It took me a week to remember how to even spell it! :) This is a cancer which most often originates in the lymph nodes near the lungs, but mine started in the groin and pretty much stayed there for a year before it started spreading. That's part of what took so long to figure it out. (One doctor even said I was wierd. Laugh)
Some of the websites I read say that this particular flavor represents less that one percent of all known Non Hodgkins Lymphomas, which makes me pretty dang special, yeah? Despite the rarity, there is a fairly common chemotherapy treatment they call CHOP. This is an old acronym that used to represent the names of the chemicals, but there have been many improvements since then and the letters hardly apply. In my case, the protocol calls for 6 to 8 treatments, spread out three weeks apart. That means 18 to 24 weeks of chemo. Ugh!
We all know that chemo means getting sick, losing your hair, feeling horrible, blah, blah, blah, and yes, that is true, for many people. Each person is different, so each person is affected differently. In my case, for the first treatment at least, I didnt get any of the normal symptoms. I got the unusual ones. Didnt get sick (yay, cuz I hate barfing) but I did get the mouth sores and the erosion of the esophagus (think of swallowing through a twelve inch long sore throat. Ouch!) and I got the blurry vision. All those are transitory though. The one overriding problem is fatigue. Chemotherapy is after all a poison, designed to kill fast growing cells. Cancer cells are fast growing, as are several systems in the human body, so the trick is to kill the cancer without killing me, too. It is a carefully orchestrated race, administered by a man I trust explicitly.
Those who know me personally know I am very slow to trust, and this guy is phenomenal as a doctor, and as a person. He is the very best of both worlds, and I knew that on my first visit with him. I develop more and more respect for him wth each subsequent visit. Thanks John!
Sorry, I digressed... I just had my second treatment yesterday, and we got some pretty good news, though I swear I will jinx it if I say it out loud. Given that the response rate of T-cell lymphoma is traditionally poor, forgive me for not saying anything just yet, but he and I are both happy. :) I will say that by the sixth treatment, we may find the last two aren't necessary.
So, with all that in mind, we come to what I find the most difficult to deal with.
Other people.
I've known since the second visit to a doctor when he orded the first CT scan that I had cancer. Call it a gut feeling, or the result of hours of Googling. Doesn't matter. the point is I have had ample time to come to grips with my situation and my "most likely" prognosis, as well as alternate scenarios. In short, I am simply not afraid of the outcome. To put it even shorter, and at the risk of being crude, I am not afraid of dying, a year from now or forty years from now.
People who even allow themselves to think of the word cancer automatically think of slow, painful, rapid decline leading to death, as though it were a given. I've learned much about other people by how they react or respond when I tell them the news. I understand their actions, but I cant condone them when they are directed at me, because to put it selfishly, I need all my energy to get me well, not make them feel better. A very dear friend of mine described it thus: "It's like choking on a glass of water. Everyone is demanding you TELL them you are fine, when what you really need to do is cough it out." True enough! And I finally got my family to understand the concept. Friends, most of whom I am actually closer to, took a bit longer. :)
What I'm going to ask for at this point will sound a bit harsh, and I'll apologize in advance, but I am somewhat limited in my ability to respond.
I'd like to thank everyone in advance for the well wishes, and the inquiries, and the sympathies, and say they've already been sent an answered. Rather than field a bunch of queries for how I am doing, I'll usurp my old work blog and post updates there. Probably wont be all that many posts, because frankly, all the drama is done. All that's left is whatever side effect the chemo is dropping on my head on any given day, and seriously, that's GOT to be boring reading!
The only thing that matters to me right now is the fatigue, originally caused by the cancer and and now caused by the chemo. Makes it bloody hard to work up enough steam to keep up with the group messages, and even long emails. (The only way I could write this lengthy post is because the first day after chemo, I feel like myself again. Alas, it doesn't last long.) :)
There is one other thing that really bothers me, and it's the hardest to explain. According to John, cancer doctors largely ignored complaints for a long time because patients couldn't really articulate what they were feeling, and few reported it. Now they understand the situation and given it a name: Chemo brain. Goofy name, but man is it a pain in the butt. Different people are affected differently, of course, and for me, I lose focus, big time. Can't think of the word I want, and the biggest hassle of all is that it's bloody hard to write! It's like being distracted by every random thing in the room. That's why I haven't written much in the last three months. In fact, the Santa Mug was written before the chemo while I was still undiagnosed. Whew! What a task that little story was! It'll be out in December as part of the Dreamspinner Mistletoe Madness and can be purchased separately (royalties!) or as part of the month long package.
So to recap and wrap up, you'll see me occasionally in Twitter or on the groups when I have the energy or when I am not trying to write. If I'm not there, it doesn't mean I don't want to be, trust me. :)
Think good thoughts I can find a way around the chemo brain thing, because all the stories are still there, but they don't have a convenient outlet right now, and I'd love nothing more to get them on paper and into your hot little hands. :)
Cheers all!
Love,
Patric
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Fanboy Alert - M. Jules Aedin
A while ago I had the signal pleasure of beta reading a work in progress tentatively titled "Windows," by M. Jules Aedin.
It was a story about a man who occasionally sees another fellow undressing in front of the window across the alley. That innocent start leads to a 50 year old mystery begging to be solved, and the characters in the story did an excellent job of it.
Jules took a fascinating approach to telling the tale by presenting "converging timelines" between then and now. (I was doubly fascinated because at the time I was working on a WIP using pretty much the same technique.
Jules handled hers flawlessly, and the story progresses smoothly, with no bumps or jags to throw one out of the story.
At any rate, I am pleased to announce that "Windows in Time" has just been released at Dreamspinner Press. Click here to grab your copy. I guarantee you will love it!
It was a story about a man who occasionally sees another fellow undressing in front of the window across the alley. That innocent start leads to a 50 year old mystery begging to be solved, and the characters in the story did an excellent job of it.
Jules took a fascinating approach to telling the tale by presenting "converging timelines" between then and now. (I was doubly fascinated because at the time I was working on a WIP using pretty much the same technique.
Jules handled hers flawlessly, and the story progresses smoothly, with no bumps or jags to throw one out of the story.
At any rate, I am pleased to announce that "Windows in Time" has just been released at Dreamspinner Press. Click here to grab your copy. I guarantee you will love it!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Fanboy Alert - Z.A. Maxfield
MLR Press released Notturno sometime yesterday. I found out about it through one of the lists I inhabit, and of course, pounced. I've been *waiting* for this ever since I saw the cover.
MLR Press (ManLoveRomance Press) is primarily, as I understand it, an invitation-only print publisher. Recently they've opened an e-book section and are offering their titles in several popular formats. Because of this, I was able to snag a copy of Notturno as soon as I heard it was available.
I was doomed from that point on.
Those who follow me on Twitter and Facebook know I am cautious when I pick up a new book. If it's good, I cannot put it down, and I freely admit I forgot my own guidelines last night.
It should be clearly understood at this point that I am truly afraid I lack the eloquence to do this book justice with my description. Mere fanboy squeeing simply won't cut it.
Z.A. Maxfield, (or Z since I am lazy) is well known for her bright, upbeat, literary style. Her characters are sometimes quirky, sometimes cheerful and exuberant, and sometimes sorrowful. They are *always* wholly believable.
So when I read the blurb for Notturno and discovered one of the characters is a vampire, I truly wondered how she would pull that off.
I'm not a particular fan of the vampire genre. Too many cliche's and "I vant to suck your blood." moments ala Bela Lugosi. (And before I get flamed, yes, I am aware of the many changes to the trope. Some good, some bad. Ooh, sparkly!)
Because of my reticence, I had no particular urge to "make allowances," even if I am Z's fanboy.
Well... One page in and I am hooked. And I mean, *hooked*, till the end.
Notturno is a far cry from Crossing Borders, or even St. Nacho's, which remains my all time favorite. It's not exactly dark, and not exactly light, but an easy blend of the two.
Donte, the vampire, is sexy, well spoken, mysterious, and every inch the aristocrat he once was. Yet through his journal, we find he is so very much more.
Adin is bright, sassy, and irreverent, and like Donte he has hidden depths which are revealed as the story progresses. Both characters had me laughing, sighing, grousing, and even sniveling by the time I reached the end, which was as satisfying and complete an ending as only Z can write them.
I just realized I'm in serious danger of spoilers here, so I'll stop abruptly with this thought in mind:
Buy the book. You absolutely will not regret it.
Notturno, at MLR Press
MLR Press (ManLoveRomance Press) is primarily, as I understand it, an invitation-only print publisher. Recently they've opened an e-book section and are offering their titles in several popular formats. Because of this, I was able to snag a copy of Notturno as soon as I heard it was available.
I was doomed from that point on.
Those who follow me on Twitter and Facebook know I am cautious when I pick up a new book. If it's good, I cannot put it down, and I freely admit I forgot my own guidelines last night.
It should be clearly understood at this point that I am truly afraid I lack the eloquence to do this book justice with my description. Mere fanboy squeeing simply won't cut it.
Z.A. Maxfield, (or Z since I am lazy) is well known for her bright, upbeat, literary style. Her characters are sometimes quirky, sometimes cheerful and exuberant, and sometimes sorrowful. They are *always* wholly believable.
So when I read the blurb for Notturno and discovered one of the characters is a vampire, I truly wondered how she would pull that off.
I'm not a particular fan of the vampire genre. Too many cliche's and "I vant to suck your blood." moments ala Bela Lugosi. (And before I get flamed, yes, I am aware of the many changes to the trope. Some good, some bad. Ooh, sparkly!)
Because of my reticence, I had no particular urge to "make allowances," even if I am Z's fanboy.
Well... One page in and I am hooked. And I mean, *hooked*, till the end.
Notturno is a far cry from Crossing Borders, or even St. Nacho's, which remains my all time favorite. It's not exactly dark, and not exactly light, but an easy blend of the two.
Donte, the vampire, is sexy, well spoken, mysterious, and every inch the aristocrat he once was. Yet through his journal, we find he is so very much more.
Adin is bright, sassy, and irreverent, and like Donte he has hidden depths which are revealed as the story progresses. Both characters had me laughing, sighing, grousing, and even sniveling by the time I reached the end, which was as satisfying and complete an ending as only Z can write them.
I just realized I'm in serious danger of spoilers here, so I'll stop abruptly with this thought in mind:
Buy the book. You absolutely will not regret it.
Notturno, at MLR Press
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Fanboy Alert - Mara McKenna
I just got the news today that Night Moves, a short story for the Dreamspinner Press Sindustry anthology, will be published in volume 2, which sports this cover, created by Mara McKenna.
To say that I was excited to be "under" this cover is a supreme understatement.
Thank you Mara!
Friday, June 12, 2009
The ongoing mysteries of Facebook
I often wonder why, if it's such a stereotypical joke, do application creators CONTINUE to let programmers design the user interface.
Now, I consider myself fairly well versed with computers and technology. I've bragged that I can elucidate any windows program in a day, and be functional, if not proficient, in a few more. They are all based on the same basic principles, after all. Likewise with Mac programs. Their functions are just in different places.
So with that "skill," why on earth should Facebook be so dang hard for me to fathom?
It's not the limitations inherent in Web based applications and display. I understand that too. If I were to hazard a guess, it's because none of the design team ever bothered to let non-techies test the thing. Instead, they PRETENDED like they were not technically oriented, and made all the basic assumptions I do when I am writing an app. Duh.
Yes, I know where I put the button to call up this or that option, just as they do, but at least *I* have sense enough to remember to tell someone else.
Facebook designers seemed to have missed that bit. Sigh.
Anyway, after a couple of hours doofing with the thing, (and a pleasant discovery that the beasty fan page actually works!) folks can now "Become a Fan" if you already have a Facebook account.
Click this link and get updates on book status, goings on and whatever else I happen to remember to mention.
I'm looking forward to meeting you. :)
Now, I consider myself fairly well versed with computers and technology. I've bragged that I can elucidate any windows program in a day, and be functional, if not proficient, in a few more. They are all based on the same basic principles, after all. Likewise with Mac programs. Their functions are just in different places.
So with that "skill," why on earth should Facebook be so dang hard for me to fathom?
It's not the limitations inherent in Web based applications and display. I understand that too. If I were to hazard a guess, it's because none of the design team ever bothered to let non-techies test the thing. Instead, they PRETENDED like they were not technically oriented, and made all the basic assumptions I do when I am writing an app. Duh.
Yes, I know where I put the button to call up this or that option, just as they do, but at least *I* have sense enough to remember to tell someone else.
Facebook designers seemed to have missed that bit. Sigh.
Anyway, after a couple of hours doofing with the thing, (and a pleasant discovery that the beasty fan page actually works!) folks can now "Become a Fan" if you already have a Facebook account.
Click this link and get updates on book status, goings on and whatever else I happen to remember to mention.
I'm looking forward to meeting you. :)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
This is one of three huge maples, planted long before my father was even a gleam in the designer's eye. Due to the sheer idiocy of the arborists hired by the power company to keep the lines clear, (they cut one of the two main branches, essentially splitting the tree in half, vertically!) the resulting core rot and a brief, intense thunderstorm shattered it in half yet again. Now the poor thing will have to come down, sooner or later. Grr... It lived longer than the idiots have been in business, and of course, I cannot sue their asses off. >_<
I LIKE my trees, dammit!
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